We have had a variety of discussions over the past three weeks about giving ourselves permission: to own our stage space, to be heard, to find our voice/style/message, and more.
As we discussed reaching out to the audience today and how that can override our nervousness I began to consider how permission and fear can get tangled with each other. This was forcefully presented to my mind when Brandon literally threw the chair away, and when Julie snatched the air in front of the class audience I felt the impact of surprise on the other side of our circle even though I already knew what to expect.Then I laughed so hard as Idilio vocally expressed and physically interpreted his parents behaviors during his time of birth.
In musical performances, with others or solo, my thought was always that of sharing something, offering a gift, a part of myself. I know going into the music offers me many things outside of the ordinary day and that others can enjoy this too. And so I have found going into stories provides similar opportunities. Music and stories are art forms as old as humankind. They have always been and will always be with us. We are helping to perpetuate the art as we go into a story and invite others to come along.
It seems (for me) that when I am working with a new story---a story I have not told many times---there is a certain amount of fear that I simply can't ignore (both before and during the telling). I believe that even with an audience that knows me---that is not threatening to me---there is the fear that I won't be able to please them---that the story somehow will not "come off" ---because it still has a while to develop. Unfortunately, because I am a new storyteller, I have mostly new, developing stories---and sometimes, I am asked to perform in a venue where the expectation is that the story is perfected.
ReplyDeleteJoy
Discovering your story in the process of sharing it is risky. Sometimes risky behavior is scary, awkward, or unsettling. But sometimes it is surprising, insightful, and revelatory. Dare to jump into the discovery of the story. Share the discovery. The "expectation of perfection" may have entered the room with you. Leave it at the door.
ReplyDeleteYes David. Surprise, insight, and revelations are what I am discovering as I, what you called, "Hold the story loosely."
ReplyDeleteI remember what Megan Wells said about stories that bother you are the ones you need to struggle with and tell. Then she commented that she had to let go of her agendas and let the characters. To me this sounded similar to Bil Lepp's comments on letting his characters talk about the issues so the audience can laugh rather than taking issue or feel they're being preached at.